Cheyenne Connors: This is What Rape Culture Looks Like

The Ms. Foundation for Women is celebrating Women’s History Month with a blog carnival featuring the voices and profiles of women across the country. This Month of Action is generously supported by our friends in Seattle.

By Cheyenne Connors

This weekend I am visiting my friend at Antioch College. In order to do this, I am taking a five-hour bus trip. I have books, music and bus people to entertain me, and I am totally comfortable with this.



Do you want to know who is not comfortable with this? My entire family. They aren’t stopping me, of course, since I am 20 years old and they learned long ago that I make my own decisions. They have all, however, warned me very specifically about “skeevy old men” and to “sit in front of the bus.” I nodded, smiled and agreed.



Of course, I was silently fuming. Not because they are wrong in these warnings, and not that they are trying to do anything but help me be safe, but because I am expected to keep myself from being raped on a bus. If someone did rape me, I can only imagine that part of my family’s reaction would be, “Why weren’t you more careful?”


As I got dressed, I thought about each article of clothing. Was this tank top too revealing? (Maybe). What about this eye shadow? Too much? (It’s dark purple because it brings out my eyes). What about my red lip stain, my scarf, my silver chain? Would they be used against me in the Court of Rapists?

I don’t know, but I hope not. And, quite frankly, if anyone tries anything, they may find themselves without corneas or testicles. But it’s ridiculous that I have to think about this. This is what rape culture looks like. 

Cheyenne Connors is 20 years old.

Aishwarya Dongre: Their Worries Are Justified

The Ms. Foundation for Women is celebrating Women’s History Month with a blog carnival featuring the voices and profiles of women across the country. This Month of Action is generously supported by our friends in Seattle.

By Aishwarya Dongre

I am 18, and I travel 30 kilometres one way to college. I am the ordinary girl with the zeal to lead the ordinary life, without being touched and felt up every time I travel by the bus or train. I walk down the platform stairways to have the man behind me brush past my bottom. I stand on the bus with the filthy one thrusting himself upon me. He doesn’t spare the old aunt who is sitting on the senior citizen’s seat on the bus. He doesn’t refrain from singing a vulgar song and smirking. No, he does not keep his hands to himself.

I live in a democratic country, in a city as posh as Mumbai. Until I was 10, my mom would discuss how girls at night were safe within the wraps of this city. Today, broad daylight ensures molestation within this “safe city”. My parents won’t allow me to travel alone at night; they won’t even trust my guy friends to drop me off after a party. They continuously monitor my clothes, not because we are a conservative Indian family, but because they don’t want me to “ask for it.”

I might scream at that man who feels me up, even if I am his granddaughter’s age. I tell the conductor to look into my eyes, not my chest, to talk. But my parents and society fear the worst with regard to me. They feel those men whom I speak against will track me down and might throw acid at me. Their worries are justified.

No, I will not blame the government. Nor will I blame the police, and make ridiculous remarks like, “We need police patrolling every corner of every city.” I express shame at the lowly and perverted acts and thoughts of the men of this nation. I wear a skirt, a short dress or a damn sleeveless top. I wear it for the pure joy of being feminine, not to seek attention or lewd remarks. No, I do not regret being an Indian. No, I will not hate Delhi or Mumbai. I regret belonging to a society in which women are just objects to play around with and provide sexual satisfaction. I grieve. Deeply.

Aishwarya Dongre lives in Mumbai, India.

Carol Pencke: Ms. Foundation Donor, Seattleite

The Ms. Foundation for Women is celebrating Women’s History Month with a blog carnival featuring the voices and profiles of women across the country. This Month of Action is generously supported by our friends in Seattle.

Why you are committed to supporting women and girls? 

I became involved in the women’s movement from racial justice work; they were so similar. Then I became active in reproductive rights because, as a mother and former teacher, I value children above everything. All children should be born into wanted families and then nurtured by the whole of society. The idea that some people value fetuses above living children is still obscene to me.

Why is the Ms. Foundation important to you? 

The Ms. Foundation is the national and regional model for women’s funds. It provides not only cash grants, but also wonderful technical support, networking and advocacy and public education on women’s issues. I was privileged to be a project manager for the Ms. Foundation for three years so I saw that the organization does exactly what it purports to do – build sustainable organizations that support women and girls.

What are the milestones to be celebrated this year for Women's History Month? 

That the Ms. Foundation is 40 years old! That many of us who worked in the women’s movement at its start are now retiring from paid work, yet still proud feminists. That when I started working, women were paid 59 cents on the dollar for work comparable to a man – and now that has risen to 77 cents.

That we have more women in government, as corporate leaders, and foundation and nonprofit directors. Our girls see themselves as capable of opening any door. Title IX is a huge step forward. We need to recognize those gains.

At the same time, reproductive rights are under attack again, despite overwhelming support for Roe v. Wade by the general populace. So, we need to avoid complacency. 

What do you wish for Ms. Foundation at 40? 

Much more funding, especially building its endowment as women do their estate planning. Aggressive outreach to communities of color, LGBTQ people, low-income people and younger people in both granting and giving.

What do you hope to see happen for women over the course of the next 40 years? 

The continued march to full participation in this society and in the world. This will come with much hard work, but we see that women have the abilities and strengths to persevere, even under the most dire circumstances of poverty, war and oppression.

Sunny Clifford: Advocate for Women

The Ms. Foundation for Women is celebrating Women’s History Month with a blog carnival featuring the voices and profiles of women across the country. This Month of Action is generously supported by our friends in Seattle. 

What do you do with your life? 

I graduated from Oglala Lakota College in June 2012 and worked at a tribal park on the Pine Ridge reservation for the summer season. I now work at a correctional facility full-time, while continuing to advocate for women’s rights.

How did you become interested in women’s rights/social justice? 

In 2006, the legislature attempted to ban all abortions in my home state of South Dakota. This led me to become aware of the blatant violations of women’s rights, like this one, that were occurring across the country.

Why and when did you decide to transform your interest into action? 

The first time I decided to take action was when I campaigned for the re-election of my tribal president, Cecelia Fire Thunder. Fire Thunder was the first person I heard speak up for women, not only Native Americans, but all women. It was important for me to campaign for her because I wanted to see changes on the reservation in terms of violence against women and access to abortion. In order to become witness to these changes, I realized I had to become personally involved in the battle.

Do you think your work can help make real change in the world? 

Yes. I think anyone has the capacity to change the world, no matter how small their action is or how many people see it.

Do you call yourself a feminist? Is the term still relevant today? 

I love to call myself a feminist, but I think it’s unfortunate that the term is relevant today because it proves women still do not have the rights necessary to be who they want to be.

Is the history of women’s rights important to you? Do you have a favorite figure from that past? 

The history of women’s rights has often left out Native women; nevertheless, every woman’s history is important to me. My favorite figures from the past are the unknown women who stood up for themselves and took control of their lives during periods of history when it was often dangerous to do so.

What do you like to do when you aren’t thinking about changing the world? 

I love food, so I love eating. Also, I love to read and there is hardly a time when I’m not thinking about what more I can do to make some changes in the world.

What’s the last good book you read? 

The Hunger Games.

What keeps you motivated to keep working for women’s rights/social justice? 

Ensuring positive change for our future generations so that we can all continue to improve the world.

What world would you like to see? 

I would like to see a world in which women choose who they want to be and how they want to live without restrictions or limitations. I would like to see women earning the same pay as their male counterparts. In terms of reproductive rights, it seems that we’re often fighting to not go back to the early 1970s, before Roe vs. Wade.

How long do you think it will take for us to get there? 

It will take us as long as it takes everyone to become aware of the importance of these issues and recognize that they are worth changing.

Corky LeTellier: Equality Through Education

The Ms. Foundation for Women is celebrating Women’s History Month with a blog carnival featuring the voices and profiles of women across the country. This Month of Action is generously supported by our friends in Seattle. 

By Corky LeTellier

Women's History Month. What a long way we have come. Tumult in the 1960s changed us, gave us a big leap forward. From one generation not speaking about sex and the human body to the next clamoring for medically accurate information to make informed decisions about sexuality. From backstreet and sometimes fatal encounters to safe access for our health care.

The birth experience itself was on a path to come full circle. My mother had no choices about giving birth, even though her husband was a doctor. By the time I was ready for a child, I was nurtured through the process and given all the options.

The collective “we” became feminists, worked to gain our independence, began to demand equality. That led to many of us assuming that the culture would change – and it has, to a large degree. We married, had babies and hoped that by teaching our daughters and sons about interconnectedness and the humanity of all we could take more steps forward.

Perhaps we overestimated our reach and became complacent. While my children were young, I went to trade our old car for a new one. The salespeople insisted that I have my husband's permission. Had things really changed? Were women becoming part of the greater circle of humans or still being held back? Did we really want to waste half of our society's brain power?

After two abortions (I am a slow learner), one that almost took my life, I find it amazing that women are not more outraged and vocal against these new restrictions on access and safety. For the past five years, I have been teaching young men and women about puberty, sex, choices for birth control and communication.

In so many parts of the world, women are still struggling to gain some measure of respect. Women in this country have to be visible to prove that there is hope through education for equality, for safe accessible health care and for the choices they can make with their own lives.

Corky LeTellier is a mother (to Ms. Foundation for Women Senior Manager, Institutional Relations, Sunny Daly) and grandmother, a sexuality educator, a quilter, a real estate agent, a caretaker, a volunteer and a lifetime learner. She recently moved out of the mountains of California to help out her mother in Naples, Fla.

Rebecca E. Blanton: Recognizing Women Veterans

The Ms. Foundation for Women is celebrating Women’s History Month with a blog carnival featuring the voices and profiles of women across the country. This Month of Action is generously supported by our friends in Seattle.

By Rebecca E. Blanton

Women veterans are slowly gaining recognition for their service, but have yet to achieve the same level of recognition as men. I have been steeped in research about women veterans in California and listening to their voices. One thing I have heard is that women who have served in the military do not necessarily see themselves as veterans.

Encapsulating this is a comment by one woman who stated, “I wish I would have known I was a veteran.” In her mid-50s with a bachelor’s degree, married to a veteran and having served in the Army for four years, she had spent much of her life thinking she was not a veteran. For her, like many, a veteran is an older man who served in combat - not a woman and not someone who served during peacetime.

It is important not only that the public recognizes former servicewomen as veterans, but also that women veterans identify themselves that way. First and foremost, their service and sacrifice needs to be honored. We ask women to give of their time, their bodies and their careers to serve this country, which deserves the appropriate respect in society.

Second, when women do not recognize their own service, they remain disconnected from the benefits they have earned. Women veterans use their educational and tax benefits less frequently than their male peers, mostly because they don’t know about or don’t think they qualify for the same benefits even though they have given the same service.

Third, civilians need to understand the sacrifice we ask our military families, especially women, to make. If we don’t recognize women veterans, how will we come to understand the full implications of asking women to go to war? Our analysis can’t be limited to the male perspective.

It may seem basic, but simply changing the question we ask from, “Are you a veteran?” to “Have you served in the military?” could do a lot to change the way women veterans see themselves and change the way we all recognize their service.

Women in gender studies and the women’s movement have focused a lot on the power of language. Changing the universal from he to s/he or alternating between she/he has altered the way we conceive of the default person. It is no longer just men who dominate the universal concept of a human.

We need to do the same for our women veterans. We need to change the dialogue to recognize their service. Simply changing the way we ask about service history can increase the number of self-identified veterans. This small change will lead to fewer women veterans diminishing their own contributions and will increase the number of Americans who recognize that women are now a key part of our military.

Rebecca E. Blanton is the Senior Policy Analyst and incoming Executive Director of the California Commission on the Status of Women and Girls.

On International Women’s Day, Reflecting on the Status of Women at Home, by Julie Kay

The Ms. Foundation for Women is celebrating Women’s History Month with a blog carnival featuring the voices and profiles of women across the country. This Month of Action is generously supported by our friends in Seattle.

Julie Kay, Senior Strategist, Advocacy and Policy, Ms. Foundation for Women

In comparison to the adversity faced by women worldwide, women in the U.S. might think, “What do we have to complain about?”

The truth is that, after decades of progress in advancing women’s rights, we still have miles to go in our own country. This International Women’s Day offers an opportunity to reflect on the status of women at home and commit to making the U.S. a leader in advancing all women’s rights.

As the Ms. Foundation for Women’s new report, “More to Do: The Road to Equality for Women in the United States,” concludes, we are at a critical time for women in the U.S. today:

• Our economy marginalizes women and consistently relegates women of color to the lowest-paying jobs.
• Quality, flexible and affordable child care is inaccessible to working families, particularly those headed by women.
• Control over women’s bodies is legislated by people who, as we saw throughout the debate over “Obamacare,” prioritize political posturing over women’s health.
• Gender-based violence remains a prevalent and complex problem in the U.S., despite important inroads such as the recent renewal of the Violence Against Women Act. 

On International Women’s Day, let’s set high goals for the U.S. and challenge ourselves to make this a place in which a woman may obtain justice and equality regardless of her race, socioeconomic status, age or immigration status. The U.S. should be a beacon of rights, rather than a place that offers privilege to some while turning a blind eye to others’ inequality.

Today is a chance for us all to celebrate our victories on behalf of women in the U.S. but also to commit to deepening these rights and expanding them to all women. We need to repeal barriers to living-wage jobs and enable quality child care, abolish disparities in women’s health care by increasing enrollment and coverage through the Affordable Care Act, and working to end violence against women and sexual abuse of children.

International Women’s Day reminds us of the importance of striving toward a world in which all women are able to obtain their full human rights.